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Little. Yellow. Different.

October 19, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
The World Wrestling Federation, Inc. is expected
to successfully muscle its way into the market
today with its $137 million initial public offering.

The Top 12 Risks of Investing in the WWF


    1. Strange... your broker seems to know what the price of the stock will be ahead of time.

    2. No pencil-necked geeks are allowed to invest!

    3. Prospectus clearly states that gains from the sale of stock are "for entertainment purposes only, and should not be construed as actual profits."

    4. Selling short in advance of a fixed fight is considered insider trading -- and they're *all* fixed!

    5. Four words: "Stone Cold" Steve Auditor

    6. America, undergoing a massive intellectual awakening, is on the verge of leaving pro wrestling behi... sorry, I couldn't finish because I'm laughing so hard. Buy away!

    7. Falling stock prices means downsizing. And in wrestling, downsizing means midgets.

    8. The Wall Street Journal finally decides to deliver to Arkansas!

    9. At stockholder meetings, no one is ever looking when you get hit in the head with a chair.

    10. You: 98-pound weakling. Your partner for the 3-legged race at the annual stockholders' picnic: Sexual Chocolate

    11. Austin: -3/16

      and the Number 1 Risk of Investing in the WWF...

    12. Phone call from Vince McMahon next year: "Aaare you rrrready to declare Chaaaaapteeerrrrr Eleeeeeeevvveennnnnnn???!!!!!"

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!


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Selected from 112 submissions from 43 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 1 (2nd #1) Email
  • John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 2
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 3 Email / Website (Rookie!)
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 4, 11 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Joe DiPietro, Brooklyn, NY -- 4 Email / Website
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 4 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Fred Hesby, Portland, OR -- 4 Email / Website
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 4 Email
  • Sterling Smith, San Ramon, CA -- 5 Email
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 6 Email
  • Chris Walker, Calimesa, CA -- 7 (Rookie!)
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 8
  • Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 9 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Rob Wolf, Seattle, WA -- 10 Email
  • Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 12 (Rookie!)
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- Topic Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- Banner Tag Email / Website
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention list name Email
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name Email
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Cheryl Lynn, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience

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