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October 13, 1999

The Top 11 Signs You're Gambling at a Bad Casino


    1. Complimentary drink is the water in which they boiled the complimentary hot dogs.

    2. You are told to wait for more people to lose money before you can cash in your $100 chip.

    3. The "roulette wheel" is clearly stolen from Milton Bradley's Life game.

    4. "Hi. My name's Yassir, and welcome to Jericho Casino."

    5. When the dealer gets a blackjack, you have to remove an article of clothing.

    6. Roulette croupier keeps asking if you want to buy a vowel.

    7. If having to yell "BINGO!" weren't bad enough, there's a topless octogenarian serving you drinks.

    8. The roulette wheels also have "000" and "0000".

    9. Just when you're starting to see some good cleavage, the cocktail waitress covers his ass with a tray.

    10. The entrance is littered with guys with broken kneecaps.

      and the Number 1 Sign You're Gambling at a Bad Casino...

    11. Sign in front: "Over 11 million screwed."

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