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If contact occurs, flush with warm water.

October 12, 1999

Today's list is another of the lists compiled from
submissions sent in by our recent contributor finalists.

The Top 13 New Slogans for the US Army

    1. The General's not the only one who gets a Hummer, baby!

    2. Is your Southern Baptist upbringing lacking discipline, rigor and mindless rules?

    3. Gruel: It's what's for breakfast

    4. Undefeated since 1975!

    5. Be All That You Can Be -- Unless You're Gay, In Which Case Be About Six Inches Less Outgoing Than You Can Be

    6. Except for the large bleeding wounds, it's just like paintball.

    7. One armored tank: $2.8 million
      One loaded machine gun: $625,000
      One Army standard toilet plunger: $1,000
      Cleaning the urinal with a toothbrush because there was a small scuff on your shoe: priceless.

    8. Be there when we take out Canada!

    9. Hey, we had cargo pants long before Old Navy.

    10. Open fire in your high school -- Media outrage and possible jail time.
      Open fire in the Army -- Chest full o medals, baby!

    11. The US Army: Who needs those Community College snobs, anyway?

    12. At least the Village People never wrote a song about *us*.

      New Slogan for the US Army...

    13. Come play with our privates!

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

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Selected from 179 submissions from 91 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Jeff White, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada -- 1 (Woo-hoo!)
  • Chris Walker, Calimesa, CA -- 2
  • Chris Dunn, Louisville, KY -- 3
  • Sean McDaniel, Seattle, WA -- 4
  • Brian M. Klesc -- 5
  • Brian June, Indianapolis, IN -- 6
  • Aaron Morris, Tracy, CA -- 7
  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 8
  • Bruce McKenzie, Emerald Hills, CA -- 9
  • Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington, VA -- 10
  • Brayden Simms, Davie, FL -- 11
  • Ann Rosenfeld, Austin, TX -- 12
  • Patrick Morgan, East Alton, IL -- 13
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- Topic
  • Gloria Monti, Mineola, NY -- Banner Tag
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention name
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Elvis Presley, Tupelo, MS -- Ambience

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