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Let steep for five minutes before reading.

October 11, 1999

Today's list was compiled from submissions
sent in by our recent contributor finalists.

The Top 15 Unforeseen Side-Effects of the Y2K Bug

    1. Computer glitch at People Magazine makes Dom DeLuise the "Sexiest Man Alive!"

    2. No power failures, no mass hysteria, but from January 1st on, everyone's toast is just a little bit burnt.

    3. "Suddenly Susan" suddenly funny.

    4. Their computers thwarted, the public library will finally get their 12-year-overdue copy of "Our Bodies, Our Selves" back and I... er, my friend won't have to pay a penny in late fees!

    5. Several thousand Internet start-ups simultaneously and inexplicably turn a profit.

    6. World falls under the iron fist of Amish overlords.

    7. All "2000 Flushes" toilet bowl sanitizers simultaneously detonate, causing a "Blue Butt" epidemic in trailer parks across the US.

    8. While speaking at a fund-raiser, Al Gore malfunctions and shuts down in mid-sentence.

    9. Overnight, CompUSA becomes "Crazy Larry's Liquidation Center."

    10. Strom Thurmond starts to receive free birthday ice-cream cones at Baskin-Robbins.

    11. "Student Loan? No, I'm pretty sure I paid that in full last month."

    12. With all the rioting and looting, your reclusive neighbor Chuck can finally roam the streets relatively unnoticed in his halter top and buttless chaps.

    13. "First-rate Hunter-gatherer" now a key resume bullet.

    14. President Clinton's January issue of "Hustler" is accidentally sent to ex-president William McKinley.

      and the Number 1 Unforeseen Side-Effect of the Y2K Bug...

    15. McDonald's faces a rash of lawsuits when out-of-work COBOL programmers begin dumping hot coffee into their laps to make ends meet.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

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Selected from 79 submissions from 28 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Jeremy Shelley, Carroll, IA -- 1 (Woo-Hoo!)
  • Schwanda, whereabouts unknown -- 2, 8
  • Jeff White, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada -- 3
  • Chris Walker, Calimesa, CA -- 4, 12
  • Paul Wiley, whereabouts unknown -- 5
  • Aaron Morris, Tracy, CA -- 6
  • Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 7
  • Jamie Wells, Ithaca, NY -- 8
  • Steve Cumbie, Fort Worth, TX -- 8
  • Dakota Shepard, New Haven, CT -- 8
  • Todd Lever, Agawam, MA -- 8
  • Mark Spence, Mountain View, CA -- 8
  • Bruce McKenzie, Emerald Hills, CA -- 9
  • Jim Williams, whereabouts unknown -- 10
  • Julie K. Stahlhut, Kalamazoo, MI -- 11
  • Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington, VA -- 13
  • Laurie Northrup, Clinton, NY -- 14
  • Chris Dunn, Louisville, KY -- 15
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- Topic
  • Gloria Monti, Hempstead, NY -- Banner Tag
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention name
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Bandof5, Las Vegas, NV -- Ambience

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