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All bets are final

October 5, 1999

The Top 12 Pet Peeves of Pets


    1. Dog: They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl.

    2. Goldfish: Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same fish flakes... Oh boy! Fish flakes!

    3. Dog: "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!"

    4. Cat: Suck out one baby's breath and you're a pariah.

    5. Goldfish: The wimp-ass knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!

    6. Parrot: Tease, tease, tease -- but do those greedy bastards ever *really* give me a cracker? HELL, no!!

    7. Dog: Human legs that just tease.

    8. Dingoes: When you snatch a boney, crunchy baby instead of a plump, juicy one.

    9. Cat: Why are these people in my house?

    10. Dog: What the... HEY!!! Where are my balls!!!!

    11. Goldfish: "Oh, tap-tap-tap! *There's* a new one!"

      and the Number 1 Pet Peeve of Pets...

    12. Guppy: Every time that hot Angelfish looks this way, I've got one of those stringy turds hanging.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!


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Selected from 82 submissions by 31 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1, 2 (27th #1) Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Tim McKemy, Chandler, AZ -- 3 Email
  • Randy Wohl, Ma'ale Adumim, Israel -- 4 Email
  • Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- 5
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 6 Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 7, Topic Email
  • Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 9 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Paul Lara, Temple, TX -- 10 Email
  • Jon Litfin, Columbus, OH -- 11 Email
  • Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 12
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Banner Tag Email
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Eric Burdon & the Animals, London, England -- Ambience
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