$25 minimum bet
October 5, 1999
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list is a Top5 Classic,
originally published on May 22, 1996
The Top 16 Signs Your Company Is Planning A Layoff
- CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe."
- Your workday consists of coming in at 10, thinking up Top5 entries with 30 of your coworkers, then leaving at 4.
- Dr. Kervorkian hired as "Transition Consultant."
- Windows 95 shutdown screen reads, "It's Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
- Company softball team downsized to chess team.
- Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns.
- Your boss keeps asking you when he can "show your cubicle."
- Company president now driving a Hyundai.
- Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.
- Old Milwaukee is beer of choice at company picnics.
- Guard at front desk nervously fingers his revolver whenever you pass by.
- Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
- Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.
- Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Attic.
- Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your Company Is Planning A Layoff...
- President begins weekly meetings, "Good morning, you ignorant bastards."
There are no Runner Up submissions for this list.
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Selected from 85 submissions by 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Caroline Gennity, Queens, NY -- 1, 4
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 2 (Hall of Famer)
- Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL -- 3
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 5, Topic
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- 6 (Hall of Famer)
- Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA -- 7
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA -- 8, 15
- JB Leibowitz, Oakland, CA -- 9
- Lemon/Rinaldi, San Francisco, CA -- 10
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 11
- Gail Celio, East Lansing, MI -- 12
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 13
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 14
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC -- 14 (Rookie!)
- Duncan Carling, San Francisco, CA -- 16 (Rookie!)
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer