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$25 minimum bet

October 5, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list is a Top5 Classic,
originally published on May 22, 1996

The Top 16 Signs Your Company Is Planning A Layoff


    1. CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe."

    2. Your workday consists of coming in at 10, thinking up Top5 entries with 30 of your coworkers, then leaving at 4.

    3. Dr. Kervorkian hired as "Transition Consultant."

    4. Windows 95 shutdown screen reads, "It's Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."

    5. Company softball team downsized to chess team.

    6. Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns.

    7. Your boss keeps asking you when he can "show your cubicle."

    8. Company president now driving a Hyundai.

    9. Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.

    10. Old Milwaukee is beer of choice at company picnics.

    11. Guard at front desk nervously fingers his revolver whenever you pass by.

    12. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.

    13. Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.

    14. Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Attic.

    15. Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.

      and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your Company Is Planning A Layoff...

    16. President begins weekly meetings, "Good morning, you ignorant bastards."

There are no Runner Up submissions for this list.


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Selected from 85 submissions by 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Caroline Gennity, Queens, NY -- 1, 4
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 2 (Hall of Famer)
  • Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL -- 3
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 5, Topic
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- 6 (Hall of Famer)
  • Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA -- 7
  • John Hering, Alexandria, VA -- 8, 15
  • JB Leibowitz, Oakland, CA -- 9
  • Lemon/Rinaldi, San Francisco, CA -- 10
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 11
  • Gail Celio, East Lansing, MI -- 12
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 13
  • David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 14
  • Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC -- 14 (Rookie!)
  • Duncan Carling, San Francisco, CA -- 16 (Rookie!)
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer

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