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It's like an electric "not-so-fresh" feeling!
September 28, 2001

The Top 16 Signs It's Time to
Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet

    1. "For refill, ring KLondike 6-4-3."

    2. The leeches look like they might have turned.

    3. You've forgotten which one was the rectal thermometer.

    4. You just read the most influential book of your life, written by Mary Baker Eddy.

    5. They no longer manufacture an anti-Macarena drug.

    6. Funny, you don't *remember* being prescribed mouse turds.

    7. That birth control prescription labeled "C. Levy" is more than a bit incriminating.

    8. The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake -- but you don't have a night-light.

    9. A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between the aftershave and the aspirin.

    10. Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst-tasting toothpaste EVER.

    11. The drill bit you use to let the "bad ayre" out of your skull can't be sharpened.

    12. Your Viagra has been sitting next to the toothpaste so long that you can't squeeze the tube without dinner, a movie, and 40 minutes of foreplay.

    13. Your nosy neighbors leave the bathroom saying, "Don't touch me."

    14. The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.

    15. There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying, "Hi, Guy!"

      and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet...

    16. Was there ever really a "Preparation A?"

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 127 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 1, 16 (32nd #1) Email / Hall of Famer
  • Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 2, 8
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 2
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 3
  • Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 4 Email / Website
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 5 Email
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 6, 15
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 7 Email / Website
  • Ken Shinodo, Bend, OR -- 7
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- 9 Email / Website
  • Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 10, 15
  • Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 11, Banner Tag
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 12 Email / Website
  • Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 13
  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 14 Email
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 15 Email / Website
  • Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 15 Email
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 15 Hall of Famer
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 15
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 15 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- List moderator, HM list name
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Bon Jovi, Sayreville, NJ -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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