September 28, 2001
The Top 16 Signs It's Time to
Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet
- "For refill, ring KLondike 6-4-3."
- The leeches look like they might have turned.
- You've forgotten which one was the rectal thermometer.
- You just read the most influential book of your life, written by Mary Baker Eddy.
- They no longer manufacture an anti-Macarena drug.
- Funny, you don't *remember* being prescribed mouse turds.
- That birth control prescription labeled "C. Levy" is more than a bit incriminating.
- The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake -- but you don't have a night-light.
- A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between the aftershave and the aspirin.
- Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst-tasting toothpaste EVER.
- The drill bit you use to let the "bad ayre" out of your skull can't be sharpened.
- Your Viagra has been sitting next to the toothpaste so long that you can't squeeze the tube without dinner, a movie, and 40 minutes of foreplay.
- Your nosy neighbors leave the bathroom saying, "Don't touch me."
- The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.
- There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying, "Hi, Guy!"
and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet...
- Was there ever really a "Preparation A?"
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 127 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 1, 16 (32nd #1) Email / Hall of Famer
- Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 2, 8
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 2
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 3
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 4 Email / Website
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 5 Email
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 6, 15
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 7 Email / Website
- Ken Shinodo, Bend, OR -- 7
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- 9 Email / Website
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 10, 15
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 11, Banner Tag
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 12 Email / Website
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 13
- Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 14 Email
- Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 15 Email / Website
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 15 Email
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 15 Hall of Famer
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 15
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 15 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- List moderator, HM list name
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Bon Jovi, Sayreville, NJ -- Ambience (explanation)