September 24, 2001
The Top 12 Surprises in the Fall Movie Season
- Heightened security measures at the local cineplex mean that you will no longer be able to smuggle in your own popcorn.
- Hugh Grant stars as a brave, non-stammering Army general who-- never mind, I'm thinking of Mel Gibson.
- Lorne Michaels announces that he's run out of Saturday Night Live cast members to put in bad movies.
- Wes Craven's "Webster's Revenge" sparks a run of copycat former-child-stars-as-killer-zombie movies.
- Despite his being voted one of the "sexiest men alive," very few people seem to want to pay to see Sean Connery naked.
- "Jaws IV, People 0" not a big hit in Florida.
- The big surprise hit is "The Making of Britney's Breasts," starring Max Rosenrosen, Cedars-Sinai Chief of Reconstructive Surgery.
- Toning down the violence, the new Steven Seagal movie features villains lobbing water balloons.
- Angered by homosexuals, abortionists, and liberals, God lifts his veil of divine protection and allows "Rush Hour III" to be made.
- Sound of Mariah Carey singing is drowned out by the sound of the Dolby system committing suicide.
- Harrison Ford reprises his role as Agent Jack Ryan, on special assignment to figure out what the hell's up with that Anne Heche chick.
and the Number 1 Surprise in the Fall Movie Season...
- "...starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Barney!"
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runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 94 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 1, 5 (8th #1) Email / Website
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 2 Email
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 3 Email
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 4, 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 5 Email / Website
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 8
- Ross Brown, Seattle, WA -- 9 Email
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 11, RU list name, Topic Email
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 12 Email / Website
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- Banner Tag Email / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Kinks, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)