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TopFive.com
You can really taste the kale!
September 17, 2001


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list was compiled from submissions
sent in by our lovely and talented
ClubTop5 subscribers.


The Top 16 Signs Your Co-Worker is From Another Planet


    1. "A list? Of hurricane names?? Ha! What a riot!!"

    2. "These are not the reports you're looking for."

    3. Screams and spits acid on your monitor whenever your Sigourney Weaver screensaver loads.

    4. He actually expects his benefits to include non-HMO-based health care.

    5. Constantly praises British cuisine.

    6. Uses nouns such as "leverage" and "action" as verbs.

    7. Takes his coffee black. And intravenously.

    8. His siblings Tito and LaToya keep dropping by his cubicle.

    9. ALL YOUR PAPER CLIPS ARE BELONG TO US!

    10. When she phones home, the lights in the building dim.

    11. He enjoys sucking the life energy out of his fellow employees and leaving behind soulless zombies -- and he's not even in management yet.

    12. No matter how many ideas get tossed around, he always settles on "Plan 9."

    13. Thinks "Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones" is a totally cool title.

    14. You can't remember any projects you've worked on with him for at least six months, and your ass is killing you.

    15. That new "Client Server" manual he's writing? IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Co-Worker is From Another Planet...

    16. "Who's Gary Condit?"

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 411 submissions from 223 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Jay DeSimone, Philadelphia, PA -- 1
  • Paul Atkinson, Portland, OR -- 1
  • Jeff Abramsohn, Waltham, MA -- 2
  • Michael E. Cain, Salem, NH -- 3
  • Julie Keefer, Raleigh, NC -- 3
  • Matt Carson, Brooklyn, NY -- 4
  • Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH -- 5
  • Bernard Donohue, Glendale, CA -- 6
  • James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 6
  • Marko Peric, Prince Edward Island, Canada -- 6
  • Keith Alexander, Sandy Hook, CT -- 7, 13
  • Susan Earley, Bensenville, IL -- 7
  • Josh Larson, Roseville, MN -- 7
  • Chris Pultz, Denver, CO -- 8
  • David Hughey, Decatur, GA -- 8
  • Rob Graber, Minneapolis, MN -- 8
  • Boe Bowen, Kansas City, MO -- 8
  • Sean Johnson, Charlotte, NC -- 8
  • Jill Rosenberg, Seattle, WA -- 9
  • Keith Meyer, London, UK -- 9, Banner Tag
  • William Nienke, Dallas, TX -- 10
  • Robert Elliott, whereabouts unknown -- 11
  • Alexis Iglauer, London, UK -- 12
  • Ted Remington, Aurora, CO -- 14
  • Orville Williamson, Arlington, TX -- 14
  • Peg Meister Brown, Outside Pittsburgh, PA -- 15
  • Paul J. Iutzi, Normal, IL -- 16
  • Derek Seabury, Somerville, MA -- Runner Up list name
  • Kirsten Smith, Lynnwood, WA -- Honorable Mention list name
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Plate O' Shrimp, Minneapolis, MN -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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