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September 16, 1999

The Top 13 Overrated Things About Being a Rock Star

    1. Hanging out with the other rockers is all fun and games until somebody loses a nipple ring.

    2. It was cool in the 60's, but now those are *elderly* women throwing their underwear on stage.

    3. On the tour bus, your drummer always wants to play the "alphabet game."

    4. Sure, you get to scream obscene lyrics, which is cool, but at the annual "Servant of Satan Fourth of July Picnic" you end up playing softball with a bunch of overweight congressmen.

    5. The drugs, the groupies, the screaming fans are all great -- but *man* do the shoes hurt.

    6. Groupies never want to just cuddle.

    7. Wasted 16-year-olds aren't even that *good* at sex. And post-coital conversation? Like, forget about it!

    8. Today: Girls screaming your name in orgiastic frenzies.
      Tomorrow: The Miracle Ear!

    9. Sure, you get to bite off bat heads, but by the second set, you're hungry again.

    10. "I happen to know a *lot* about rain forest deforestation! Why are you all laughing?!"

    11. Groupie community spoiled by the sexual prowess of Gene Simmons.

    12. Supermodel or not, boney thighs are boney thighs.

      and the Number 1 Overrated Thing About Being a Rock Star...

    13. Sitting in the stall next to David Crosby.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 97 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 1, Topic (Woohoo! 1st Email / Website
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 2 Hall of Famer
  • Rob Wolf, Seattle, WA -- 3 Email
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 4, 7 Email
  • Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 5, 6
  • Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 8 Email
  • Jon Litfin, Columbus, OH -- 8 Email
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA -- 9 Hall of Famer
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 10 Email
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 11 Email
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 12 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 13
  • Gloria Monti, New York, NY -- Banner Tag Email
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Honorable Mention list name Email
  • Jeff Rabinowitz, Denver, CO -- Runner Up list name Email
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Byrds, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience

Top5 Bomb

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