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September 14, 2001

The Top 20 Excerpts from a Romance Novel
Written by a Science Fiction Writer

    1. "Clarice wanted to resist, but when Zoltor opened his mouth and his thirty-two inch tongue unspooled, she gave in with a shudder."

    2. "The pizza boy never realized that 412 Mansion Cove was the four-dimensional portal of the Gnyxillian high queen, who often sought meaningless servicing from carbon-based life forms. This time was different, though. She didn't count on... love."

    3. "As Loruk's thorax swelled, signaling her sexual availability, she could feel Gakkor's twitching proboscis brush against the most sensitive of her three legs, triggering her kill-and-devour response in a way it had never been triggered before."

    4. "Yeoman Rand gasped as her captain bent her over the navigator's console and began tugging at her Starfleet-issued panties. 'Prepare yourself for a captain's log entry you won't forget,' Kirk purred, grinning wolfishly."

    5. "Their friends said they weren't compatible, that a model 49FB8v3 could never find happiness with an amorphous semi-organic blob, but they didn't care. Sure, they were from different worlds, but they had each other and that's all that mattered."

    6. "Oh my God!" screamed Elizabeth. "I bet a photon could traverse the length of your tumescent organ in less than a picosecond! In a vacuum!"

    7. "His hands tore passionately at her bodice. 'It's a breathable poly/carbon shell woven with interstitial polyvinylchloride!' she moaned. He gazed longingly, agonizing over the knowledge of basic chemistry which stood between him and her three proud breasts."

    8. "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a really hot cyborg chick, and Ryan Cobalt was no different."

    9. "He was standing in the doorway, chlorine dissipating off his rippling chest. From across the room, she could detect his scent, the all too familiar musk of hydrogen sulfide and ammonia. His eye met hers, and the silence was overwhelming."

    10. "Don't go! I love you!" Helen pleaded, her bosom heaving. "I must," he replied coldly. "I'll never forget you," she sobbed, brokenhearted. "Guess again," the MiB agent remarked as he flashed his Neuralizer."

    11. "Never had he seen twin moons more round, more perfectly formed as these. They glistened in the twilight, each with its own set of concentric rings, and he longed to be the first man to land on them, to touch the surface."

    12. "Though we both yearned to be as one, I knew that the reverse polarization of our anti-grav units would forever keep us apart."

    13. "Diana Plasma was not the kind of woman to let interplanetary gravity differentials dictate her agenda. When she said 'Jump', she expected her cadets to say 'How high?' -- and really *mean* it."

    14. "As the Nintendo LuvDroid pushed Cliff roughly to the bed, he felt a touch of fear, and with reason. 'ATTENTION!' shrieked the droid, 'ALL YOUR PENIS ARE BELONG TO US!'"

    15. "My ears tingled and my skin flushed as he whispered those three sweet words that every woman wants to hear: X'CHa'ktt Ng'xxkt Kzgrr'Dchch."

    16. "'You're a cold, heartless beast!' she screamed, weeping. 'Well, yes,' he responded, puzzled and hurt, 'On Pluto, we ALL are.'"

    17. "Her wanton breasts heaved. Her breath grew short. He pulled her close and whispered, 'My Vulcan customs forbid me from mating for another 7 years -- but we can still cuddle!'"

    18. "As the mechanical whirring reached a crescendo, X-10B suddenly rebooted. 'Just my luck,' P8000-C sighed, covering her SCSI interface. X-10B cursed the latest firmware upgrade as the hydraulic fluid drained from his rapidly settling droidhood."

    19. "Together they strolled along the sand, the light of the moons reflecting from her platinum hair. Her supple breasts pointed delicately upward in the weaker Martian gravity."

      and the Number 1 Excerpt from a Romance Novel Written by a Science Fiction Writer...

    20. "He held her close and whispered, 'Though light years may come between us, my love, I shall always cherish the night when I kissed you on Uranus.'"

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 120 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1 (41st #1) Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 2, 16
  • John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 3, 14, 19 (Hat Trick!) Email
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 4
  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 5 Email
  • Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- 6 Email / Website
  • Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 7
  • Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 8
  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 9 Email
  • Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 10
  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 11, 17 Email / Website
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 12, Topic Email
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 13 Email / Website
  • Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 15
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 18 Email / Website
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 20
  • Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- Banner Tag
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Eric Johnson, Austin, TX -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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