TopFive
  Index
  About Us

  Previous Lists
  Greatest Hits
  Hall of Fame

  You Really Like Us!

  Store    Privacy
  Links!   Contact

Top 5 List RSS feed
What' s this?

Members Only
  ClubTop5
Subscribe

  Top5/ClubTop5

  Little Fivers

Sponsored Links

Natural remedies
for people & pets


Long Lost Friends:
Used/Rare Books


The Bible Online

This site hosted by Dreamhost.com


TopFive.com
Brewed and bottled by Pilsner Urquell

September 9, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Tonight, the MTV Video Awards are being presented in Manhattan.

The Top 13 Signs You Won't Win an MTV Video Award


    1. Some bastard keeps tuning your guitar.

    2. "Best non-rhyming victim in a drive-by shooting" *still* not a category.

    3. You're Livin' La Vida No-Talenta.

    4. Because Kurt Loder cannot be bought, Mister Nose Candy!

    5. VH-1 just completed your "Where are they now?" segment.

    6. Budget cuts forced you to use a white, middle-aged heterosexual male choreographer.

    7. Special effects? You hired an alcoholic cinematographer with the shakes, for that "Blair Witch" look.

    8. Your hit rap song disses women executives in the music industry; Strike One. Your proposed solution: "Slap dem 'ho's around a bit"; Strikes two and three.

    9. Your double-major studies at Julliard severely cut into your washboard ab building time.

    10. Your band name: Barenaked Fat Guys Your video features: Barenaked Fat Guys

    11. You confused video award shows and submitted the tape of your cousin Earl stepping on a rake.

    12. The only video of you on TV this month shows you hiding a kilo of heroin in the kosher meal cart of American Airlines flight 393.

      and the Number 1 Sign You Won't Win an MTV Video Award...

    13. Still no category for "Most Wasted Punk Burning Stuff at Woodstock."

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 120 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:



Top5 Bomb

© Copyright 1994-2010.  All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.