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September 7, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Todays' list is made up solely of submissions
sent in by ClubTop5 subscribers.

The Top 16 Differences if Nobody had Invented the Wheel


    1. One less thing for Al Gore to claim he invented.

    2. Amble-by shootings just don't send rival gangs the right message.

    3. With cars up on blocks in front of every house on the planet, Jeff Foxworthy languishes in obscurity.

    4. Parents around the world rejoice as nothing whatsoever on the bus goes 'round and 'round.

    5. While much faster than 30 minutes, catapult system for pizza home delivery is still an inexact science.

    6. Leather jackets or not, the Hell's Angels are far less intimidating on donkeys.

    7. Abundance of gratuitous TV pogo stick chases by Pamela Anderson.

    8. Drag racing, while more literal, is markedly less exciting.

    9. 95% of retail space taken by Nike, leaving only 5% for Starbucks.

    10. Roulette's not quite as exciting with everyone betting on the corners.

    11. Major drop in teen pregnancies, as copulating on the back of a horse is not as much fun as it would seem to be.

    12. James Dean's death from running head-first into a tree isn't nearly as romantic when there's no car involved.

    13. Millions of slovenly hamsters with unsightly love-handles playing video games all day.

    14. V_NN_   WH_T_   W_ULD   B_   TURN_NG   TR_CKS   _NST__D   _F   L_TT_RS

    15. Ladies and Gentlemen: His Honor the President... Ted Kennedy!

      and the Number 1 Difference if Nobody had Invented the Wheel...

    16. Circusgoers marvel as 50 clowns manage to cram themselves into a small horse.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 188 submissions from 106 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Rebecca Martz & Jenny Rowland, Fullerton, CA -- 1 (Woo-hoo!!!)
  • Keith Martin, Rancho Cordova, CA -- 2
  • Steven Lunetta, Page, AZ -- 2
  • Joe Tobin, Chicago, IL -- 3
  • Robert Eskridge, Carrollton, TX -- 4
  • Ryan A. Markle, Chesterton, IN -- 4
  • Joe Lex, Philadelphia, PA -- 5
  • Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 6
  • Steven Lunetta, Page, AZ -- 6
  • C. Dean Salyorn, Chapel Hill, NC -- 7
  • Matt Hart, Tulsa, OK -- 8
  • Amanda Trulson, Salt Lake City, UT -- 9
  • Adam Diamond, Somerville, MA -- 9
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 9
  • George Valenzuela, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada -- 9
  • Jeff Tom, Torrance, CA -- 9
  • Mark H. Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- 9
  • Alan Rea, Kalamazoo, MI -- 9
  • Brian Nelson, Dallas, TX -- 10
  • Chuck Wagon, Chicago, IL -- 11
  • Chris Doucette, Sharon, MA -- 11
  • Pamela Rice Hahn, St. Marys, OH -- 11
  • Sean Hogarty, Cambridge, MA -- 11
  • Bill Burgess, Houston, TX -- 12
  • M.P. Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 13
  • David Cortright, Sunnyvale, CA -- 13
  • Shane Van Cott, Orem, UT -- 13
  • Jeffrey K Eliasen, Los Lunas, NM -- 14
  • Tom Wideman, Grapevine, TX -- 15
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington VA -- 15
  • Beth Camero, Woodland, CA -- 15
  • Jim Wright, Portland, OR -- 16
  • Wayne Jones, Somerville, MA -- 16
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- RU list name
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- HM list name
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor
  • Journey, San Francisco, CA -- Ambience

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