September 4, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's topic give me the chance to plug two of
our Little Fiver lists: Top5 Movies and Top5 Sex!
The Top 16 Sex Lessons We Can Learn From Movies
- If Anthony Michael Hall can get some, there's hope for ALL of us.
- Inadvertent sex noises are as nonexistent as urinals on the Enterprise.
- Women are like busses: there's always another one on the way. Also, their superstructures are usually made of some rock-hard, no-bounce substance that guarantees uniformity and brand recognition.
- Women at bars? Always stunningly attractive and conveniently easy!
- Fortunately for our future scientists, hot Swedish exchange students *always* want to make it with the class nerd.
- Size *does* matter -- even more so when he's a sixty-foot-tall ape.
- No matter how much a woman hates you, planting an unexpected but good strong kiss will make her yours for life!
- The sexiest man is ALWAYS attracted to the drag queen.
- You get to keep your bra on during intercourse only if you're getting a percentage of the gross.
- If a woman doesn't reach orgasm within 15 seconds, you're DOING IT WRONG!!
- "Condoms" are devices used for one purpose only -- to embarrass teenagers who venture into the local drug store to buy them.
- Dudley Moore is *exactly* the sort of guy that a buxom young hottie would want to have sex with.
- Seriously, all your friends' moms are hot for you!
- Women first try to kill James Bond, then end up having sex with him. In real life, women rarely get past that first stage.
- Women aren't concerned about looking fat, even when you sensuously feed them the entire contents of a Frigidaire.
and the Number 1 Sex Lesson We Can Learn From Movies...
- If you decide to have sex with a pastry, lock the door.
Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 100 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 1, 12 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
- Steven Wilber, Pomeroy, WA -- 1, 16 (2nd #1) Email
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 2 Email
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 3
- Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 4 Website
- Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 5
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 6 Email
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 6 Website
- Laurie Northrup, Syracuse, NY -- 6 Website
- Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 7 Email / Website
- Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 8
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 9 Email / Hall of Famer
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 10 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 11 Email / Website
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 13 Email
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 14 Email
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 15 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Eric Lipton, Washington, DC -- Topic
- Jim Larsen, Springfield, MO -- Banner tag
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Dire Straits, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)