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Hey! You in the cubicle! Quit picking your nose!
September 4, 2001


Today's topic give me the chance to plug two of
our Little Fiver lists: Top5 Movies and Top5 Sex!

Subscribe now!

The Top 16 Sex Lessons We Can Learn From Movies

    1. If Anthony Michael Hall can get some, there's hope for ALL of us.

    2. Inadvertent sex noises are as nonexistent as urinals on the Enterprise.

    3. Women are like busses: there's always another one on the way. Also, their superstructures are usually made of some rock-hard, no-bounce substance that guarantees uniformity and brand recognition.

    4. Women at bars? Always stunningly attractive and conveniently easy!

    5. Fortunately for our future scientists, hot Swedish exchange students *always* want to make it with the class nerd.

    6. Size *does* matter -- even more so when he's a sixty-foot-tall ape.

    7. No matter how much a woman hates you, planting an unexpected but good strong kiss will make her yours for life!

    8. The sexiest man is ALWAYS attracted to the drag queen.

    9. You get to keep your bra on during intercourse only if you're getting a percentage of the gross.

    10. If a woman doesn't reach orgasm within 15 seconds, you're DOING IT WRONG!!

    11. "Condoms" are devices used for one purpose only -- to embarrass teenagers who venture into the local drug store to buy them.

    12. Dudley Moore is *exactly* the sort of guy that a buxom young hottie would want to have sex with.

    13. Seriously, all your friends' moms are hot for you!

    14. Women first try to kill James Bond, then end up having sex with him. In real life, women rarely get past that first stage.

    15. Women aren't concerned about looking fat, even when you sensuously feed them the entire contents of a Frigidaire.

      and the Number 1 Sex Lesson We Can Learn From Movies...

    16. If you decide to have sex with a pastry, lock the door.

Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 100 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 1, 12 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
  • Steven Wilber, Pomeroy, WA -- 1, 16 (2nd #1) Email
  • Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 2 Email
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 3
  • Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 4 Website
  • Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 5
  • Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 6 Email
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 6 Website
  • Laurie Northrup, Syracuse, NY -- 6 Website
  • Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 7 Email / Website
  • Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 8
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 9 Email / Hall of Famer
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 10 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 11 Email / Website
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 13 Email
  • Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 14 Email
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 15 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Eric Lipton, Washington, DC -- Topic
  • Jim Larsen, Springfield, MO -- Banner tag
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Dire Straits, London, England -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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