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TopFive.com
Only 2 days until the humor strike!
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

There's a Certified Filthy version of
today's list for our ClubTop5 members to see.
Join today and get in on the fun!


August 28, 2002


The Top 20 Other Ways to Leave Your Lover


    1. Sell her for crack, Jack.

    2. Leave up the lid, Sid.

    3. Throw his clothes on the lawn, Dawn.

    4. Keep wetting the bed, Fred.

    5. Stab her and a waiter after nightfall, Orenthal.

    6. Tell her you're gay, Ray.

    7. Ask if she's gained weight, Nate.

    8. Call her a ho, Moe.

    9. Send her to Capitol Hill, Bill.

    10. Gorge yourself on baked beans, Dean.

    11. Make too many bad rhymes, Tom.

    12. Catch and release, Denise.

    13. Put on her teddy, Eddy.

    14. Throw a toaster in the tub, Bub.

    15. Find another Cruz, Cruise.

    16. Tell her Ashcroft won't let you leave, Steve.

    17. Bag 'em and tag 'em, Adam.

    18. Stop taking your Paxil, Axl.

    19. Shoot her in the head and hope you get an OJ Simpson-like break, Mr. Blake.

      and the Number 1 Other Way to Leave Your Lover...

    20. Call her "Mom" during sex, Rex.

Join ClubTop5 to check out the runner up submissions
for this list





Selected from 145 submissions from 50 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 1, 11, 12 (22nd #1 / Hat Trick!) Hall of Famer
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 2, 15
  • Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 3
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 4, 9 Email / Website
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 5, 15 Hall of Famer
  • Mike Levy, Los Angeles, CA -- 6
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Bob Van Voris, New York, NY -- 8
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 10, HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 12, RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 13 Email
  • Anne Sholl, Trenton, NJ -- 13
  • Dave Juurlink, Toronto, Canada -- 14
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 14
  • Bryce Daigle, Cornwall, Canada -- 15, 20
  • Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 15 Email
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 15 Hall of Famer
  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 15 Email / Website
  • Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 16 Email / Website
  • Ann Bartow, Bartow, FL -- 17 Hall of Famer
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 18
  • Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 19
  • John Eddy, Pineville, NC -- Topic
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Clash, London, England -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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