August 21, 2002
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
In the non-news department, Lisa Marie Presley,
daughter of Elvis and ex-wife of Michael Jackson,
recently tied the knot with actor Nicolas Cage.
The Top 15 Differences Being Married
to Nicolas Cage vs. Michael Jackson
- "Our song" is no longer "A Whiter Shade of Pale."
- Nicolas's darker skin tone better compliments Lisa's complexion.
- With Nicolas, "gallon of bleach" isn't on the shopping list every friggin' week.
- Now every time Lisa Marie hums a Beatles tune, she has to pay alimony.
- No longer able to share underwear.
- Nicolas appeared in Face/Off.
Michael is appearing in Face/Odd.
- Cage: Wants to have kids with Lisa Marie.
Jackson: Wants to have kids instead of Lisa Marie.
- Nicolas Cage? Caucasian.
Michael Jackson? Passed that a few shades back.
- Requests for "hot monkey love" aren't nearly as creepy this time around.
- Nicolas: Had sex with Patricia Arquette.
Michael: Had sex with [COURT RECORDS SEALED]
- White make-up on the throw pillows replaced by strands of hair.
- Nicolas doesn't think that "make a pact" rhymes with "salvation back."
- Cage: Likes to get freaky after a bit of the bubbly.
Jacko: Likes to get freaky with Bubbles.
- No need to adjust Nicolas's nose back into the correct position after kissing him.
and the Number 1 Difference Being Married to Nicolas Cage vs. Michael Jackson...
- With the monkey out of the picture, it's harder to pass the buck after a poo-flinging fit.
Join ClubTop5 to check out the runner up submissions
for this list
Selected from 88 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 1 (4th #1) Email / Website
- Curtis Matthews, Kennesaw, GA -- 2 Email
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 3, 9 Email
- David E. Spiro, Hong Kong, China -- 4, 14
- Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- 5
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 6, 8
- Art Kinderbuch, Alexandria, VA -- 7
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 10 Email
- Dave Juurlink, Toronto, Canada -- 11
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 12, 15, HM name Email / Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 13 Email
- Dave O'Shea, Gilbert, AZ -- Topic
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- L7, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience (explanation)