August 16, 2002
The Top 14 Ways to Commemorate the
25th Anniversary of Elvis's Death
- Ingest the annual drug output of Bogota; ask W. to make you a special DEA agent.
- Form a coast-to-coast chain of fans joined at the pelvis.
- Try not to think about stroking out while taking a dump.
- Practice a little self love... tenderly.
- Go to Hawaii and win a big speedboat race, earning enough money to save your girlfriend's family business. Proceed to make out with Ann-Margret.
- Have Sonny and Red beat you senseless for looking at Priscilla.
- Burn his likeness onto a tortilla, then leave it lying around for the housekeeper to find.
- Fry up a batch of peanut-butter-and-Quaalude sandwiches.
- Wear a sequined uniform while on duty at the Post Office.
- Place a picture of Michael Jackson next to one of Lisa Marie. Climb into coffin. Spin.
- Fire off a 21-television salute.
- Pull out those blue suede shoes and use them to beat the Backstreet Boys to unrecognizable pulp.
- Dig up Richard Nixon's corpse and shake his hand.
and the Number 1 Way to Commemorate the 25th Anniversary of Elvis's Death...
- Order an "Elvis Memorial Death-Day Sterling Silver Stool" from the Franklin Mint.
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runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 113 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 1 (7th #1) Email
- Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 2 Email
- Kristie Black, Toronto, Canada -- 3
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 4, 13, RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 4
- Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI -- 5, 14 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- 5, HM list name
- Dave Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL -- 5 Email
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 6 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 7, 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 7 Email
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 9 Email / Website
- Gene Dieden, New Haven, CT -- 10
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 11
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 12
- Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- Topic
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Public Enemy, Long Island, NY -- Ambience (explanation)