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July 30, 2001


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The Top 12 Signs Your Pet is Taking Viagra

    1. Let's just say the cat isn't always landing on its feet these days.

    2. Your Acura dealer called, asking where Mr. Furpants wants his new NSX delivered.

    3. The catching and toying with the field mice is still cute and all, but now you have to leave the room for the endgame.

    4. Still waiting to greet you at the door when you arrive home from work, but now wears a French maid outfit.

    5. Stupid grin when Bob Dole/Britney Spears Pepsi commercial comes on.

    6. Instead of digging up your garden, your dachshund is *plowing* it.

    7. He's the only dog around wearing a velvet jacket and smoking a pipe.

    8. Fido throws in the extended-play Barry White CD before starting to hump your leg.

    9. Spot complains of headache and blue-tinted vision, despite being color-blind, then says, "But enough about me... how're *you* doin'?"

    10. Distinct rut in the gravel circling the plastic castle in the goldfish bowl.

    11. Flightless birds now include the ostrich, the emu, the penguin and your parrot with the huge penis.

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet is Taking Viagra...

    12. The little diver at the bottom of the tank has his suit around his ankles and an exhausted smile on his face.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 149 submissions from 59 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 1, RU list name (23rd #1) Email
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 1 (17th #1) Email / Hall of Famer
  • J. Hutter, San Francisco, CA -- 2
  • George T. MacMillan, Shillington, PA -- 3
  • Dan Johnson, Champlin, MN -- 4 Website
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 5, 6 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 6 Website
  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 7 Email / Website
  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 8 Hall of Famer
  • Lisa Lavoie, Warwick, RI -- 8 Email
  • Joe Desiderio, New York, NY -- 8
  • Patrick Kachurek, Dayton, OH -- 9
  • Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA -- 10, 11 Email / Website
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 12 Hall of Famer
  • Gary Kee, Hillsboro, OR -- Topic
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- Banner Tag Email / Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • George Thorogood, Wilmington, DE -- Ambience   (explanation)

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