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TopFive.com
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July 27, 2001


The Top 14 Phrases to Avoid
When Writing Your Own Wedding Vows


    1. "HEY, BITCH, LISTEN UP!!"

    2. "...in sickness and in health, unless it's Super Bowl Sunday."

    3. "... and henceforth, thus referring to section 4.7, paragraph 3, line 29 in said prenuptial agreement..."

    4. "...to appease Cthullhu."

    5. "...a much better lay than my brother."

    6. "...until debt do us part."

    7. "DaHjaj SuvwI'e' jIH!" (Trekkie weddings only)

    8. "...to love, honor, and fillet..."

    9. "...and at least consider the possibility of an occasional three-way."

    10. "...to love, honor, and protect you from the real killers..."

    11. "till death, or a reasonable enough facsimile thereof, do us part."

    12. "...in IPO or Chapter 11...."

    13. "...on Springer or Montel..."

      and the Number 1 Phrase to Avoid When Writing Your Own Wedding Vows...

    14. "In the words of Elizabeth Taylor..."

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Runners Up submissions for this list!
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Selected from 151 submissions from 58 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 1 (5th #1)
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 2
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 3
  • George T. MacMillan, Shillington, PA -- 4
  • Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 5, 7 Email
  • Brian M. Klesc, Joliet, IL -- 6
  • Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 6
  • Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 8
  • Beth Black, Misawa City, Japan -- 9 Email / Website
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 9 Email
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 10, Topic Email / Website
  • Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 11
  • Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 12 Email
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 13
  • Alan Wagner, Pittsburg, KS -- 14
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Sandra Hull, Alexandria, VA -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Carpenters, New Haven, CT -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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