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July 20, 2001


Today's topic gives me a chance to promote one
of our Little Fiver lists: Top5 Relationships!

To get your FREE weekly "Top5" list
about the world of romantic relationships,
send e-mail to:

Or go here.

The Top 12 Signs Your Parents Don't Approve of Your Date

    1. "Betty should be down in a minute... she's putting on her cold sore medicine. Say, son, you ever see a real hemorrhoid up close?"

    2. It's difficult to set the mood with that distracting red dot from Daddy's scope on his forehead.

    3. Mom keeps checking his head for sixes.

    4. After quietly bailing you out, they didn't bother sending the Secret Service guys back to get *him* out of jail, too.

    5. They just stare at him like they've never seen anyone with a pierced eyeball before.

    6. "So, Chris, is it? Listen, funny-boy, if you want to keep dating my little girl, you're going to have to get a REAL job."

    7. You roll in around midnight, and your mother's there waiting at the door with a field sobriety test and a syringe full of penicillin.

    8. They didn't even like him when he was *their* high school gym teacher.

    9. Every time they smell him coming, they start whistling the "Old Spice" theme.

    10. They insist that you go upstairs and change. Into a lesbian.

    11. Your dad keeps attaching refrigerator magnets to his face piercings.

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Parents Don't Approve of Your Date...

    12. Dinner was going so well until your father said, "Tell your slut to pass the broccoli."

Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.

Selected from 159 submissions from 62 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 1 (16th #1) Hall of Famer
  • Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 2, 12
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 3 Email
  • David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 4 Email / Website
  • Mark Schmidt, Paris, France -- 5 Email
  • Dan Johnson, Champlin, MN -- 6, 7 Website
  • John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 8 Email
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 9 Hall of Famer
  • Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 10 Email / Website
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 11 Email
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Topic Email
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Martin "Blind Tomato" Jackson, St. Louis, MO -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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