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July 5, 2001

The Top 14 Signs Your Spy Mission is in Jeopardy

    1. Due to budget cutbacks, you now carry a "Learner's Permit to Kill."

    2. Turns out the ejector should go under the *passenger* seat.

    3. You're unsure what to make of sudden arrival of moose and squirrel.

    4. 43 thumbnails of you on

    5. As evil henchmen pursue your Aston Martin down a winding mountain road, you suddenly realize you don't know how to drive a stick.

    6. Note found under your windshield wipers reads, "All your listening device are belong to us!"

    7. No hot babe waiting for you at the airport makes you think that maybe Moscow, Texas wasn't where you were supposed to go.

    8. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to walk back and forth touching the squares as they light up." (Oops! That's a sign your mission is in "Wheel Of Fortune.")

    9. The little old guy that makes those cool gadgets got fired, and swore the company would "rue the day."

    10. Turns out your seductive secret contact is really *Matt* Hari.

    11. An audible third-party snicker breaks up your phone conversation about "issile-may ans-play."

    12. Chinese officials cracked your code by blotting out the words "in bed" from the end of every sentence.

    13. Shuttle launch to invade enemy space station delayed by some scrawny bald Californian demanding to go up with you.

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Spy Mission is in Jeopardy...

    14. After staking out that international business for weeks, all you've learned is that the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity Breakfast isn't served after 11.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 156 submissions from 56 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 1 (6th #1)
  • Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 2, 3, 4
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 5
  • Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- 6 Email / Website
  • Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA -- 7
  • Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA -- 8
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 8 Hall of Famer
  • Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 9
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 10, 12 Email
  • Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 11
  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 12 Hall of Famer
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 12
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 12
  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 13 Email
  • Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 13 Email
  • Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI -- 14 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- Banner Tag Email / Website
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • John Ramistella, New York, NY -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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