July 3, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Sorry about the lack of a list yesterday, but
the entire TopFive crew was held captive during
a robbery at the Pink Kitty Adult Bookstore.
No injuries to report, although a certain
Mr. White missed the entire incident because
he was "busy" inside his peep show booth.
The Top 14 Things Women Don't Know About Men's Restrooms
- Yeah, well, we're havin' lesbian sex in *here*, too!
- Over every urinal: "What Would Dennis Rodman Do?"
- Actually, the entry door leads directly into the alley behind the building.
- Graffiti often written in iambic pentameter.
- If you saw how we use the hot-air hand driers you'd understand why you consistently fail to satisfy us in bed.
- Men never sit. One wall has "urinals", the other has "fecenals."
- Rearranging "your stuff" can take longer than powdering a nose.
- Tampons are only half the price of those in the women's restroom.
- The ammonia from the urine on the floor is the only way we keep the restrooms clean.
- There is a perfectly reasonable explanation to why we don't wash afterward: We pee in the sinks, too.
- Tibetan weavers harvest the room for little curly hairs to sell to Nieman Marcus as "pashmina."
- We make fun of your shoes.
and the Number 1 Thing Women Don't Know About Men's Restrooms...
- 20% less masturbation than women would guess.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 157 submissions from 61 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 1 (12th #1)
- Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 2, 9
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL -- 3
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 4
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 6, 8 Email
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 10 Email / Website
- Kristopher Kettner, Chicago, IL -- 10 Email / Website
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 11 Email
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC -- 11 Email
- Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 12
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 13 Email
- Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 14 Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- HM list name Email / Website
- Tisha Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- List moderator, Topic Email
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Brownsville Station, Ann Arbor, MI -- Ambience (explanation)