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TopFive.com
Feed your head.
June 26, 2000


The Top 17 Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped


    1. You've got Windows on your laptop.

    2. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.

    3. Your dork is ajar.

    4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

    5. I can see your Gap dancers.

    6. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

    7. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

    8. Elvis Junior has left the building!

    9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

    10. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, sir.

    11. Captain, sensors detect a wormhole in the forward quadrant!

    12. Lil' Shaq's at the free show line.

    13. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."

    14. Your closet door is open and Donato's peeking out.

    15. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

    16. I see you have an opening in senior management.

      and the Number 1 Way to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped...

    17. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 193 submissions from 72 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
  • Gene Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT -- 2
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 3, 11 Hall of Famer
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- 4 Email / Website
  • Brian M. Klesc, Joliet, IL -- 4
  • Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 5
  • Rob Wolf, Seattle, WA -- 6 Email
  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 7 Email / Website
  • Pam Pickard, North Canton, OH -- 8, 10
  • Tisha Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- 8 Email
  • Jon Litfin, Columbus, OH -- 9, 16 Email
  • Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 10 Email
  • Ann Rosenfeld, Austin, TX -- 10
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 10 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- 11 Email / Website
  • Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC -- 11 Email
  • Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 11 Email
  • Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 12
  • Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 13
  • Travis Ruetenik, Walnut Creek, CA -- 14
  • David Bryant, Columbia, MD -- 15 Email
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 17 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Runner Up list name Email
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Rolling Stones, London, England -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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