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May 23, 2001

The Top 15 Differences if
Barbra Streisand Were President

    1. "Hail to the Chief" suspended. Sargent at Arms now simply squeals, "Hello, Gorgeous!"

    2. Intense international negotiations conclude with air kisses and "Don't change, you're perfect."

    3. Secret service has a dog of a time outfitting their see-through pajamas with Kevlar.

    4. Absolutely no doubt for whom Palm Beach County voted.

    5. Initiative to have her likeness added to Mt. Rushmore scuttled due to costly biannual face lifts.

    6. Her media nickname: Presidentl

    7. Incessant bitching and moaning replaces baseball as the national pastime.

    8. Solves every international crisis by marrying that country's most-washed-up actor.

    9. Aretha Franklin has to sing Streisand's State of the Union Speech when she blows it off.

    10. Alec Baldwin would have a lot more traveling companions.

    11. State of the Union address nominated for a Grammy.

    12. Bette Midler put to death.

    13. Bill Clinton would be getting some in the Oval Office again.

    14. Prospective Cabinet members undone one by one during confirmation hearings when they are forced to admit under oath that they walked out of the theater halfway through "The Mirror Has Two Faces."

      and the Number 1 Difference if Barbra Streisand Were President...

    15. After every State of the Union address, Barney Frank approaches the stage with flowers, crying.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 131 submissions from 61 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 1 (20th #1) Hall of Famer
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 2 Email / Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 4, 15 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 6 Email / Website
  • Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 7
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 8
  • Jim Key, Rowlett, TX -- 9
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 10, RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 11
  • John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 12
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 13
  • Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 14
  • Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 15
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- Banner Tag Email / Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- List moderator, HM list name
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Melony, Stockholm, Sweden -- Ambience   (explanation)

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