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My other list is a Top 10.
May 16, 2001

The Top 16 Lines You'll Never Hear in a Western
(Part I)

    1. "As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against participating in that showdown in the middle of town. The liability issues are staggering."

    2. "Well me, the construction worker, and my sailor buddy are here to tell y'all, it's *fun* to go to the YMCA!"

    3. "Take it from me, Festus, a good pair o' nylons keeps the chaps from riding up."

    4. "Barkeep! Three more Slippery Nipples for my posse."

    5. "Miss Kitty, I don't think I've ever seen stirrups used quite like that before."

    6. "In this town we got a way to deal with murderin' scum like you, Bart -- civil litigation!"

    7. "Whose turn is it to change the potpourri in the bunkhouse?"

    8. "Well, men, the Apaches have burned down our fort and stolen our women... but considering what we've done to THEM, I think they're showing remarkable self-restraint."

    9. "You had me at 'Howdy.'"

    10. "Yeah, I'm sure he was an Indian -- his name was Amandip Gupta."

    11. "That's *Sheriff* Richard Simmons to you, pardner."

    12. "I cain't go in the saloon! Brown Bart's wearin' the same shirt I'm a-wearin'!"

    13. "They call me... Moesha."

    14. "Dadgummit, boys, slow down on that vichyssoise or you ain't gonna have no room for the tiramisu!"

    15. "Three to five day waiting period? But I got a duel at sundown!"

      and the Number 1 Line You'll Never Hear in a Western...

    16. "reach 4 the sky! :-O put all ur $$$ in the bag, lol."

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 167 submissions from 62 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1, 9 (39th #1) Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 2 Email (Rookie!)
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 3, 8, 16
  • Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 3
  • Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 4 Email / Website
  • Sue Prifogle Otte, Rushville, IN -- 5 Email
  • Joe DiPietro, Brooklyn, NY -- 6 Email / Website
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 8 Email / Website
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 8
  • Jennifer Ford, Fort Wayne, IN -- 9 Email / Website
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 9 Email
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 11 Website
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 12 Email
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 13 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jesse Weiss, Dallas, TX -- 14 Website
  • Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 15, Topic
  • Jim Larsen, Springfield, MO -- Banner tag
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- Honorable Mention list name
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • 10,000 Maniacs, Jamestown, NY -- Ambience   (explanation)

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