Our Espresso Roast - intense and satisfying
March 31, 1999
Top 13 Signs You've
Hired The Wrong Magician
- Saws a gummie bear in half, then puts it back together.
- Insists that his magic won't work if he puts his clothes back on.
- "The Amazing Kevorkian" is scaring the hell out of Grandma.
- Makes a bird appear for the kids by simply raising his middle finger.
- Replaces pulling a rabbit out of his hat with the slightly racier pulling the "big snake" out of his pants.
- She closes her eyes, then claims to be invisible.
- His first and only trick: The Amazing Disappearing Bottle of Jagermeister
- During one trick, screams "Pick a freakin' card already or I swear I'll blow the little birthday boy's head off!"
- Begins by saying his first trick "relies on the magic of sweet, sweet love."
- His biggest trick? Converting a sixer of Coors into "liquid gold" -- eventually.
- Smoke emanating from more than just the fingertips of The Magnificent Flatulo.
- Before every trick, tells hostess: "For this one, I'm going to need to borrow your bra."
and the Number 1 Sign You've Hired The Wrong Magician (Part I)...
- Her "magic words" after sawing a volunteer in half? "Ohshitohshitohshit!"
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
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Selected from 136 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Keith Martin, Atlanta, GA -- 1, 4 (2nd #1) Email
- Brian Auten, Tecumseh, MI -- 1 (2nd #1) Email / Website
- Josh Fruhlinger, Oakland, CA -- 2, 7
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 3 Email / Website
- Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 4 Email
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- 5
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 6
- Jon Litfin, Columbus, OH -- 7, 12 Email
- Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 7 Email
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 7 Email
- Josh Robertson, Bronx, NY -- 8
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 9 Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 9, Honorable Mention list name Email
- Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 10 Email / Website
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 11 Email / Website
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 13 Email / Website
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- Topic Hall of Famer
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Banner Tag Email
- Matt Siske, Dayton, OH -- Runner Up list name
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Heart, Seattle, WA -- Ambience