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TopFive.com
Rhymes with "mop dive cyst"

March 29, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
NOTES: It was recently revealed that China may have
stolen US nuclear secrets back in the 1980's.
While the folks in Washington try to figure out who
to blame for this mishap, Top5 searched for some evidence...

The Top 12 Signs China Has Stolen US Technology


    1. Mao pajama suits now much baggier and more ill-fitting.

    2. Think they came up with that "Tickle Me Mao" on their own?

    3. Kung fu movie dialog suddenly in synch with the images.

    4. Most popular fast food dish at McFong's: McBeef with Snow Peas and McWontons.

    5. "Secret" Kung Pao sauce bears striking resemblance to thousand island dressing.

    6. President Jiang Zemin seen wearing one of those baseball caps that holds two beer cans.

    7. Rice now flavored with Chairman Mao's secret blend of 11 herbs and spices.

    8. Traffic accidents increase dramatically with availability of new "bike phones."

    9. New missiles are now armed with clapper-activated Chia warheads.

    10. New "Jerry Springroll" TV show features embarrassingly ignorant peasants beating each other silly over infidelities.

    11. Meals are now eaten in half the time, thanks to the wondrous new invention, the "fork."

      and the Number 1 Sign China Has Stolen US Technology...

    12. Surprisingly sophisticated special effects in the new movie "Episode 1: Jackie Chan and the Phantom Menace."

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 118 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1, 4, Honorable Mention list name (21st #1) Email / Website
  • Chris Gleason, Gaithersburg, MD -- 2
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 2 Email
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 3, 7 Email
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI -- 4 Email
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 5 Email
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 6, Topic Email
  • Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL -- 8
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 9 Email
  • Alan Wagner, Pittsburg, KS -- 9
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 9
  • Beth Black, Misawa City, Japan -- 9 Email / Website
  • Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 10
  • Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 11 Email
  • Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 12 Email
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- Banner Tag Email
  • David Hyatt, New York, NY -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Wilson Phillips, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience

Top5 Bomb

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