Contains small parts. Keep away from children.
March 23, 2000
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
How about a warm Top5 welcome for today's guest
moderator, Scott Sistek of Seattle, WA!
The Top 15 Signs Spring Break Has Arrived
- Cars on Florida freeways reach speeds in excess of 17 mph.
- Earth's rotation shifts slightly, as 80% of the world's beer converges on Florida.
- State troopers all over the country stand in front of their mirrors, drawing their radar guns and saying, "Do you feel lucky, punk?"
- George W. Bush goes from being vague about the issues at Bob Jones University to getting right to the point at the beach with some Notre Dame co-eds.
- Portable toilets replace technology stocks as the big gainer on the NASDAQ.
- Residents of Ft. Lauderdale and Panama City start Scotch-Guarding everything, including pets.
- The average age in Florida dips all the way down to 72.
- Weatherman's latest forecast for South Padre Island? 95% chance of meaningless sex with random people.
- Daylight Savings Time ends; Moonlight Puking Time begins.
- Live from Lake Havasu City, MTV is proud to bring you "Undressed, Unconscious and Unprotected."
- A naked Ted Kennedy causes a brief stir when confused tourists attempt to save the senator by pushing him back into the sea.
- You get to see breasts without that pesky two drink minimum and constant tipping.
- J.C. Penney holds its annual "Thong and Bong Sale."
- White trash teenage crossdressing vampire nuns on Jerry Springer suddenly sporting bitchin' tans.
and the Number 1 Sign Spring Break Has Arrived...
- You wake up behind a 7-11 in Daytona with a goat and a Barbie doll, reeking of marmalade -- and your first thought is "Not again!!"
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
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Selected from 107 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
- Rob Wolf, Seattle, WA -- 2 Email
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 3 Email / Website
- Chris Walker, Calimesa, CA -- 4 Email / Website
- Mark Schmidt, Paris, France -- 5 Email
- Paul Paternoster, Los Altos, CA -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 7
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 9, Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 9 Email / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 10, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 11 Email / Website
- Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris Gleason, Gaithersburg, MD -- 13
- Peter Rogers, Louisville, KY -- 14
- Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 15 Email
- Kris Kettner, Oshkosh, WI -- Topic Email / Website
- Brian Auten, Tecumseh, MI -- Banner Tag Email / Website
- Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- List moderator
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Baldemar Huerta, San Benito, TX -- Ambience (explanation)