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TopFive.com
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March 19, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
NOTES: The Top 5 contributors and I are chillin'
at the world-famous Club Med resort in Wichita, Kansas.
We'll be back with fresh new topics on Monday.

Here's a Top5 Classic from April 4, 1997...

The Top 15 Slogans That Never Quite Caught On


    1. Charmin: "Butt... Wipe... Err."

    2. Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?"

    3. Eggs: "The Incredible Edible Ovum."

    4. MTV: "Loud and easy to spell."

    5. Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid!"

    6. Iguana: "The other green meat."

    7. Penis Enlargement Specialists: "It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing!"

    8. Nike: "Just buy the damn shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"

    9. Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years."

    10. Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes, dammit!"

    11. Pepto Bismol: "Squash the Squirts!"

    12. Trojans: "Just add meat."

    13. Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!"

    14. Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!"

      and the Number 1 Slogan That Never Quite Caught On...

    15. Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?"

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 118 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 1 Email (2nd #1)
  • Sterling Smith, Houston, TX -- 2 Email
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 3 Email
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI -- 4, 8 Email
  • Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 5 Email
  • Cathie Walker, Victoria, BC, Cananda -- 6 Email / Website
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 7 Email
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 9 Email
  • Clint Berquist, whereabouts unknown -- 10, Topic
  • Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI -- 11 Email / Website
  • Eric Huret, Atlanta, GA -- 12 Email / Website
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 13 Email
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- 14 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 15 Email / Website
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email
  • Chris White, Wichita, KS -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Rage Against the Machine, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience

Top5 Bomb

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