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Barbie Ferrari Sold Separately

March 10, 1999

NOTES: Mattel's Barbie turned 40 years old on Monday. Hard to believe, isn't it? It seems like only yesterday she was a 10 year old with a 40-inch bust.

The Top 14 Ways Barbie Celebrated her 40th Birthday

    1. Nobody knows, but they found her naked behind the sofa.

    2. Had 40 donuts and make a quick trip to the bathroom.

    3. For kicks, told an 11-year-old girl she looked "a little chunky."

    4. Got "dollfaced."

    5. Same as last year -- had another rib removed.

    6. Got jiggy in the barracks with G.I. Joe.

    7. Drowned her sorrows in a thimbleful of Barbie Dream Gin while listening to the deafening roar of her biological clock.

    8. Dumped Ken. Flashed thong at Bill. Waited for million dollar book deal.

    9. Weekly tanning session in an Easy Bake oven.

    10. Same as every day -- curled up on a couch watching "The View" with General Foods Viennese coffee blend and Snackwells cookies.

    11. Another night searching in vain for Ken's "accessory."

    12. Had a big party and invited all her plastic friends -- just like the rest of us do.

    13. Ransacked the house looking for that arm the dog chewed off.

      and the Number 1 Way Barbie Celebrated her 40th Birthday...

    14. Gave Ken a red marker and let him draw some nipples.

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Selected from 134 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

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  • Jon Litfin, Columbus, OH -- 4, 8 Email
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  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 9
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- 10 Email / Website
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 11, 14 Email / Website
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  • Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN -- 13 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name, Topic Email
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention list name Email
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Aqua, Copenhagen, Denmark -- Ambience

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