Contains less than 5g of fat
February 25, 2000
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list was compiled from submissions
sent in by our ClubTop5 subscribers.
The Top 16 Things You Don't
Want to Hear on a First Date
- "No salad for me, but I'll have a couple of those mega-burritos."
- "You look so much better in person then you do on the company's hidden bathroom web-cam."
- "Okay, here's the plan: After you get into the movie, open the fire door and bang! We save 8 bucks that we can use later on at Wendy's!"
- "You think I look good NOW? Honey, I'll look even better when they finish the surgery!"
- "I did *not* have sexual relations with that President, Mr. Clinton."
- "Hey, wanna hear your name in Klingon?"
- "It looks like you weren't able to cover up that zit with make up. Can I pop it for you?"
- "I do, Mr. Multimillionaire."
- "Sorry about the cell phone in the theater, but my wife could go into labor any minute now."
- "Why don't you want to go to Hooters? What're you, a feminist or something?"
- "My imaginary friend wants to know how you feel about threesomes."
- "Don't worry about protection, silly -- I'm *already* pregnant."
- "Mind getting on top? My nose is running."
- "It seems like only yesterday that Satan welded my crotch shut."
- "Heads up, Hon -- I *always* get lucky when I'm wearing my Hulk Underoos."
and the Number 1 Thing You Don't Want to Hear on a First Date...
- "How strange -- you kiss just like your Dad!"
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
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Selected from 114 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Trevor Naish, Calgary, Alberta, Canada -- 1 (Woo-hoo!)
- Steve Mielnicki, Washington, DC -- 2
- Craig Tanis, Sparta, NJ -- 3
- Andy Pierson, Huntingtown, MD -- 4
- Kelli Hunter, Lakeland, FL -- 5
- John W. Wood, Highlands Ranch, CO -- 5
- Michael Klayman, Long Island, NY -- 6
- Diane Kinney, Philadelphia, PA -- 7
- Russell Hill, Dallas, TX -- 8
- Elizabeth Thompson, Atlanta, GA -- 9
- Michael Cain, Salem, NH -- 10
- J. Mullins, Philadelphia, PA -- 11
- Eric Landrieu, Burlington, NJ -- 11
- Scott Naness, Staten Island, NY -- 12
- Michelle Mills, Seattle, WA -- 13
- Joe Mallon, Albany, CA -- 14
- Warren Marcus, Rockville, MD -- 15
- J. Allen Schones, Norman, OK -- 16
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- Topic
- Brian Nelson, Dallas, TX -- Banner Tag
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention list name
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Social Distortion, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience (explanation)