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Contains less than 5g of fat

February 25, 2000

Today's list was compiled from submissions
sent in by our ClubTop5 subscribers.

The Top 16 Things You Don't
Want to Hear on a First Date

    1. "No salad for me, but I'll have a couple of those mega-burritos."

    2. "You look so much better in person then you do on the company's hidden bathroom web-cam."

    3. "Okay, here's the plan: After you get into the movie, open the fire door and bang! We save 8 bucks that we can use later on at Wendy's!"

    4. "You think I look good NOW? Honey, I'll look even better when they finish the surgery!"

    5. "I did *not* have sexual relations with that President, Mr. Clinton."

    6. "Hey, wanna hear your name in Klingon?"

    7. "It looks like you weren't able to cover up that zit with make up. Can I pop it for you?"

    8. "I do, Mr. Multimillionaire."

    9. "Sorry about the cell phone in the theater, but my wife could go into labor any minute now."

    10. "Why don't you want to go to Hooters? What're you, a feminist or something?"

    11. "My imaginary friend wants to know how you feel about threesomes."

    12. "Don't worry about protection, silly -- I'm *already* pregnant."

    13. "Mind getting on top? My nose is running."

    14. "It seems like only yesterday that Satan welded my crotch shut."

    15. "Heads up, Hon -- I *always* get lucky when I'm wearing my Hulk Underoos."

      and the Number 1 Thing You Don't Want to Hear on a First Date...

    16. "How strange -- you kiss just like your Dad!"

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

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Selected from 114 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Trevor Naish, Calgary, Alberta, Canada -- 1 (Woo-hoo!)
  • Steve Mielnicki, Washington, DC -- 2
  • Craig Tanis, Sparta, NJ -- 3
  • Andy Pierson, Huntingtown, MD -- 4
  • Kelli Hunter, Lakeland, FL -- 5
  • John W. Wood, Highlands Ranch, CO -- 5
  • Michael Klayman, Long Island, NY -- 6
  • Diane Kinney, Philadelphia, PA -- 7
  • Russell Hill, Dallas, TX -- 8
  • Elizabeth Thompson, Atlanta, GA -- 9
  • Michael Cain, Salem, NH -- 10
  • J. Mullins, Philadelphia, PA -- 11
  • Eric Landrieu, Burlington, NJ -- 11
  • Scott Naness, Staten Island, NY -- 12
  • Michelle Mills, Seattle, WA -- 13
  • Joe Mallon, Albany, CA -- 14
  • Warren Marcus, Rockville, MD -- 15
  • J. Allen Schones, Norman, OK -- 16
  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- Topic
  • Brian Nelson, Dallas, TX -- Banner Tag
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention list name
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Social Distortion, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience   (explanation)

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