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February 22, 2000

The Top 12 Bugs in Windows 2000

    1. Every time you hit the space bar, hundreds of Ritz crackers fly out of the CD-ROM drive.

    2. The so-called "help" file is really just a collection of lame "Chicken Soup for the Soul" anecdotes.

    3. Refuses to install new programs until you've achieved "clear" status.

    4. You hit "delete" and the guy in the next cubicle is instantly transported to Albuquerque.

    5. In the middle of your fastest game of Minefield yet, the Stephen Hawking office assistant pops up and says,
      "It looks like you're trying to arrive at a Unified Field Theory. Can I help you?"

    6. Incorrect installation of printer drivers launches a nuclear strike against France.

    7. Dreaded "Blue Screen of Death" replaced by less fearsome "Hamster Dance Screen."

    8. Too easy to win new "Whack-a-Reno" game.

    9. Default search options include "Body Cavity Search."

    10. Replaces hilarious, intellectual, pithy Top5 list items with crude junior high school humor.

    11. Any time you empty the Recycle Bin, NASA loses another Mars Lander.

      and the Number 1 Bug in Windows 2000...

    12. Changes ".gov" domain to ".bite-me" domain every time.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 147 submissions from 55 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Kevin Hawley, Fairless Hills, PA -- 1 (20th #1) Email / Hall of Famer
  • Mark Schmidt, Amsterdam, Holland -- 1 (10th #1) Email
  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 2 Email (Rookie!)
  • Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 3
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 4 Email
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 5 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI -- 6 Email
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 7
  • Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 8 Email
  • Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 9 Email
  • Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 10 Email / Website
  • Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT -- 11 Email
  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 12 Email / Website
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic, HM list name Email
  • Gloria Monti, Staten Island, NY -- Banner Tag Email
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Beatles, Liverpool, England -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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