Where the hell are the singing cats?!
February 1, 2000
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
A bill introduced in the Mississippi state legislature
by Republican state Senator Tom King would make it illegal
for a man to appear in public when sexually aroused.
More specifically, it bans "the showing of covered
male genitals in a discernibly turgid state," and
offenders face a year in prison and a $2,000 fine.
But just how does one know this crime is being committed?
The Top 13 Signs Someone's
Breaking Mississippi's Boner Law
- Local Renaissance festival supplier has been sold out of codpieces for weeks.
- "No, that's NOT a banana in my pocket, and keep your voice down, willya?!?"
- On the bus to work, you are convinced that there's a midget behind you trying to rob you at gunpoint.
- Strategically placed "Lee surrendered, but I didn't" bumper sticker.
- The driver in the next lane has both hands on the wheel, yet he's still scratching his chin.
- That feller's parrot ain't perched on his shoulder.
- Cops keep asking, "Is that a $2,000 fine in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? "
- At a political fundraising dinner, Senator Tom King has the honor of meeting Linda Tripp for the very first time.
- Southern gentleman keeps his hat on his lap -- while walking.
- Front row seats at a Shania Twain concert? Nope. Watching as cheerleader splits a seam at the Ole Miss game? Nope. Dancing with Sis at the family picnic? Uh-oh.
- Local Hooters is filled with guys reciting the batting order of the '69 Mets.
- With an armful of groceries, Bob proudly pushes the 4th floor button in the elevator.
and the Number 1 Sign Someone's Breaking Mississippi's Boner Law...
- The eyes on the suspect's "semi-formed Siamese twin" look like they were drawn on with a magic marker.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 89 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 1 (16th #1) Email
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 2 Email
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN -- 3 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4, 6 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 5 Email / Website
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 7, 10 Email / Website
- Tom Louderback, Boston, MA -- 8 Email
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 9
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 11 Email / Website
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 12 Email
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 12, 13 Email
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 12
- Greg Peacock, St. Paul, MN -- Topic
- Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- Banner Tag Email / Website
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- Runner Up list name Email
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- List moderator
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Members, Surrey, England -- Ambience (explanation)