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U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.-- ah, crap.
June 22, 2006

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~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

Fast-food giant Wendy's announced they're doing away with
"Biggie"-size products. What they once called "Biggie"
is now called "medium" and a new 42-ounce soft drink
(the equivalent of 3-1/2 cans of soda) will be the "large."

The reigning champ, though, is still 7-Eleven's monstrous
64-ounce "Double Gulp." For comparison: In the fifties,
Coke's "family size" bottle contained a paltry 26 ounces.

Which brings us to today's topic...


The Top 5 Signs Americans Drink
Way Too Damn Many Soft Drinks

  1. Dr. Pepper has just been named the new Surgeon General.

  2. Mountain Dew's special "Do-Dew Head" collection features pictures of customers who have hit the million-can mark.

  3. You can't decide whether to bring "Sour Cream 'n' Onion Coke" or "Buffalo Ranch Pepsi" to the Super Bowl party.

  4. "Mommy! Mommy! Jimmy was jumping on the bed and he exploded!"

    and the Number 1 Sign Americans Drink Way Too Damn Many Soft Drinks...

  5. Only nacho cheese profits stand between our nation's dairies and bankruptcy.


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Selected from 138 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1 (75th #1) Hall of Famer
  • John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN -- 2
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 3 Hall of Famer
  • Christa Grunewald, Wamego, KS -- 4
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 5
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
  • Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA -- Topic
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Sugarbomb, Fort Worth, TX -- Ambience   (explanation)

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