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A delicious blend of Fair Trade Certified humor!
October 16, 2006

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~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

The U.S. Army recruited more than 2,600 soldiers
under new lower aptitude standards this year, helping
the service beat its goal of 80,000 recruits in the
throes of an unpopular war and mounting casualties.
Although a high school diploma is still required,
lower standardized test scores are now allowed.


The Top 5 Questions on the New Army Recruitment Exam

  1. You're an army of one. How big is your unit, soldier?

  2. When you hear "Drop and give me 20!" you should:
    (A) perform 20 push-ups on the spot;
    (B) bust an extended rhyme;
    (C) take a hit of LSD and pay your dealer.

  3. Which of the following is NOT a gun?
    (A) shotgun;
    (B) machine gun;
    (C) BB gun;
    (D) Paris Hilton.

  4. From the list below choose (1) the one you are NOT to shoot, and (2) the one least likely to shoot you:
    (A) al-Qaeda;
    (B) al-Zawahri;
    (C) al-Gore;
    (D) Dick Cheney.

    and the Number 1 Question on the New Army Recruitment Exam...

  5. Do you have *any* idea where Osama bin Laden is hiding?


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Selected from 102 submissions from 38 contributors.
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