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November 20, 1997

The Top 5 Signs You Should Quit Smoking

    1. Motorized tie rack retrofitted with donor lungs mounted on your left arm.

    2. Before entering prison, the notion of trading your virginity for a pack of Camels would never have occurred to you.

    3. No takers for your new invention, the shower ashtray.

    4. Constantly bitching about the no-smoking policy in the neo-natal ICU.

      and the Number 1 Sign You Should Quit Smoking...

    5. After you sneeze, your hankie looks like a Dalmatian.

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Selected from 157 submissions from 55 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 1 (14th #1)
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC -- 2
  • Paul Lara, Temple, TX -- 3
  • Don Swain, Pontiac, MI -- 4
  • Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL -- 5
  • Matt Siske, Dayton, OH -- Banner Tag
  • Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- Topic
  • Boston, Boston, MA -- Ambience

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