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From the laugh-lined tanks of Old Latopfive.
November 18, 2005

The Top 5 Signs You've Been in College Too Long

    1. Your classmates: hip hop and thongs.
      You: hip replacement and Depends.

    2. Your beer-can pyramid can now be seen from space.

    3. You swore you wouldn't shave your goatee until after graduation, and your classmates have nicknamed you "Gandalf."

    4. You still chide those nancy-boy footballers for wearing helmets.

      and the Number 1 Sign You've Been in College Too Long...

    5. You spoil the fun at your fraternity's wet T-shirt contest by yelling at the drunken sorority girls to get the hell off the frat-house lawn.

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Selected from 192 submissions from 68 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 1 (12th #1)
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 2
  • Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 2 (Rookie!)
  • Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 3 Website
  • Elizabeth Black, Asotin, WA -- 4 Website
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 4 Website / Hall of Famer
  • Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA -- 4
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 5 (Rookie!)
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- Topic
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Banner Tag Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Eric Sneo, Frankfurt, Germany -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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