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November 6, 1996

The Top 5 Michael Jackson Parenting Tips

    1. Frequent plastic surgery keeps your kids feeling and looking *fresh*!

    2. Spankings are okay -- but stop if the little tyke's hand gets sore.

    3. Let the child pick his nose -- from a catalog.

    4. Remove glove *before* changing diaper.

      and the Number 1 Michael Jackson Parenting Tip...

    5. There's nothing a spoonful of sugar, a big hug, and $25,000,000 can't fix.

There are no Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 124 submissions by 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 1 (3rd #1)
  • Peg Warner, Derry, NH -- 2
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3
  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 4
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 5
  • Chris White, NY, NY -- Listmeister

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Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.