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Your Guide to the Greatest Polka Music Ever
October 21, 1996

The Top 5 Signs You've Hired the
Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party

    1. A sad clown is one thing -- a clown who spends the entire party with a gun to his temple is another thing entirely.

    2. Only balloon animals he can make are a snake and a "snake on acid."

    3. Business cards include the phrase "From the Mind of Stephen King."

    4. Price list includes "lap dance" and "around the world."

      and the Number 1 Sign You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party...

    5. All the balloon animals are ribbed and lubricated.

There are no Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 108 submissions by 31 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 1 (2nd #1)
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 2
  • George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO -- 3
  • Dave George, Arlington, VA -- 4
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA -- 5
  • Chris White, NY, NY -- Listmeister

Top5 Bomb

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Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.