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September 13, 2004


Some topics are much more important than others.
This particular one concerns no less than
the national security of all Americans.

Don't thank us, folks -- we're just doing our patriotic duty.

The Top 5 Signs the Department of Homeland
Security Is Getting Outdated Information

    1. We go to Orange Alert when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars.

    2. Recently received video claiming responsibility for the killing of the radio star.

    3. Tom Ridge keeps trying to TiVo the new "Friends" season.

    4. Intelligence shows terrorist Fred bin Flintstone is planning to hijack a pterodactyl and fly it over key bowling alleys.

      and the Number 1 Sign the Department of Homeland Security Is Getting Outdated Information...

    5. "Be on the lookout for Egyptian terror leader Hassim el-Rashid Imhotep, a.k.a. Birdie Eye Leaf Leaf Squiggle Birdie Kneeling-Guy Bent-Stick Lion Squiggle."

Our ClubTop5 members get to see the entire 20-item list!

Selected from 98 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 1, HM list name (22nd #1)
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 2, Banner Tag
  • Danny Gallagher, Tyler, TX -- 2 Website
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 3 Hall of Famer
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 4 Website
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 5 Website
  • Eric Rayford, whereabouts unknown -- Topic
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- RU list name Website / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Lurkers, London, England -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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