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From the laugh-lined tanks of Old TopFive.
August 19, 2005

The Top 5 Things You Don't
Want to Hear at an Amusement Park

    1. "All the rides have been built and inspected to the high standards of the Halliburton Corporation."

    2. "You must have at least this much medical insurance to ride this ride."

    3. "There's all-you-can-eat Brunswick stew over by the triple-loop coaster."

    4. "To fasten your seat belts, insert the flat end into the-- whoops, you're already moving! Enjoy the ride!"

      and the Number 1 Thing You Don't Want to Hear at an Amusement Park...

    5. "How do we reach your next of kin?"

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Selected from 108 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 1 (23rd #1) Hall of Famer
  • Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 2, 4
  • Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA -- 3
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- Topic, List moderator Hall of Famer
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Banner Tag Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Ohio Players, Dayton, OH -- Ambience   (explanation)

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