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Making the world a little brighter, one list at a time.
August 12, 2005

Some elementary schools invite their pupils'
parents in on occasion to describe their
careers to the children. Something tells
me that's not always such a great idea.

The Top 5 Bad Lines for Your Parents' Day Speech

    1. "Let that nose-picking kid's dad start his talk, then I'll come back and finish up... I have to take a crap."

    2. "Sure, life in the NBA is glamorous. By the way, which one of you whining snotboxes is mine?"

    3. "There's nothing more rewarding than helping people. And it's my job to help confused daddies become the square-jawed, off-puttingly masculine-looking mommies they were born to be."

    4. "Then you literally vacuum out the fat from the body. Here, I brought some for you to pass around and look at."

      and the Number 1 Bad Line for Your Parents' Day Speech...

    5. "I'm just saying, don't ask me to put mayonnaise on your Big Mac."

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Selected from 100 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 1, 4 (7th #1)
  • Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 2, 5
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 3, Banner Tag Website / Hall of Famer
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 4 Hall of Famer
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Topic, List moderator Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Budgie, Cardiff, Wales -- Ambience   (explanation)

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