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August 1, 2005

The Top 5 Side Effects of the Heat Wave
(Part I)

    1. Tom Cruise can barely muster the energy to get up slowly from a couch.

    2. Higher ambient temperatures make for improved combustion characteristics in rectal-thrust experiments. In layman's terms, fireballs from lit farts are bigger.

    3. Satan quickly organizes a Pink Floyd reunion to cool down a sweltering Hell.

    4. The ice cream man is suddenly dripping with bling.

      and the Number 1 Side Effect of the Heat Wave...

    5. New feminine-hygiene products with baking soda cause women with yeast infections to sprout embarrassing, spontaneous crotch-muffins.

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Selected from 152 submissions from 53 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Chun Ho, Honolulu, HI -- 1 (13th #1)
  • Christa Grunewald, Wamego, KS -- 2
  • John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 3
  • Jeff Verdegan, Irvine, CA -- 4
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 5
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Coolio, Compton, CA -- Ambience   (explanation)

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