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TopFive.com
We Never Stop Working for Y-- WAIT! SpongeBob's on!
May 22, 1996


The Top 5 Signs Your Company Is Planning a Layoff


    1. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.

    2. Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.

    3. Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Attic.

    4. Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Company Is Planning a Layoff...

    5. President begins weekly meetings, "Good morning, you ignorant bastards."

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Selected from 85 submissions by 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Caroline Gennity, Queens, NY -- 1, 4
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 2 (Hall of Famer)
  • Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL -- 3
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 5, Topic
  • Chris White, San Diego, CA -- List moderator

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