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Secure the future of online humor -- vote Yes on Issue TopFive.
April 3, 2006




~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

An Arizona mother charged with abducting
her two children was accused of posing as
a man while on the run, and authorities
say the heavyset woman with cropped hair
and a slight mustache even went as far
as to have the kids call her "Daddy."

We've decided to flex our comedic muscles and
take a look at things from the opposite angle,
using an inverted humor prism to ascertain...

Okay, I screwed up and worded the topic backwards. Sue me!


The Top 5 Signs Your Mom Is Actually Your Dad

  1. The only monthly visitor she ever has is a $50 stripper.

  2. Her purse perfectly matches her shoes. But at the same time, her five-o'clock shadow perfectly matches her mono-brow.

  3. Refuses to watch "Desperate Housewives" because "those broads get on my nerves."

  4. Caitlyn's mom sells Mary Kay Cosmetics. Your mom sells Larry's Bait 'n' Tackle.

    and the Number 1 Sign Your Mom Is Actually Your Dad...

  5. When you run to her and excitedly announce that you just starting bleeding "down there," she shudders and hands you a box of Band-Aids.





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Selected from 102 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:



Top5 Bomb

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