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Putting the "Rum" in "Rumination"
February 8, 1999

The Top 5 Signs Your Realtor Is Crazy

  1. Wants to augment the listing of your mobile home to include "top speed" and "miles per gallon."

  2. She asks if you have any hang-ups about squatting.

  3. "Fixer upper" advertised in paper turns out to be 78,561,230 Popsicle sticks and 10 gallons of white glue.

  4. His sales pitch normally ends with "... and from *this* window, I bet you could pick off ten, fifteen people before anyone gets suspicious!"

    and the Number 1 Sign Your Realtor is Crazy...

  5. Screams, "Feel how plush this carpet is!" then takes off shoes, moon walks and shocks your earlobe.

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Selected from 148 submissions from 53 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Mark Dockham, San Bernardino, CA -- 1
  • Mariano Arguedas, Minneapolis, MN -- 2
  • Ross Brown, Seattle, WA -- 3
  • Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 4
  • Felicia Watson, Colorado Springs, CO -- 5
  • Gary Smith, Florissant, CO -- Banner Tag
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention list name
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor
  • Madness, London, England -- Ambience

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